You are not who you think you are. You are your ability to create thought.

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

You are not who you think you are. You are your ability to create thought. These words point to a truth that will be apparent to anyone who understands the nature of thought. In my experience, a person can believe that they are confident, powerful and productive, one day. While the next day they feel self-conscious, anxious and experience a plummeting self-esteem. I think everyone has had the experience of being ‘up’ one moment and ‘down’ the next, when there has been no real change in his or her external circumstance. Our feelings can change from moment to moment during the day. We can feel happy or sad, frightened or […]

What are the three questions that will make a meeting more productive?

– Posted in: Business, Psychology, Success

Each of us has a different ‘reality’ to our peers, because of our different life experiences, and so we bring own unique paradigm to any meeting. This was emphasised to me during a team build event. Having failed miserably at a task, the whole team learnt the importance of clearly understanding the task objectives. How did we fail (not get the outcome we wanted)? We gave up, when we still had time to complete the task. This was because we had misinterpreted the instructions for the task. The instructions included the term ‘par time’, meaning the average time previous teams had taken to complete the task. As soon as we […]

Can a person get a thought virus? If we can, what ‘error message’ do we get?

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

A virus is an infectious agent that can replicate only inside the living cells of an organism. A virus will attach its self to a cell, strip off its protein coating, burrow down to the cell’s nucleus, and reprogram the cell at a genetic level. The cell then goes on to divide into two, and so the virus spreads. So, the ‘error messages’ associated with a virus are the uncomfortable feelings of soreness, discomfort and a high temperature as your body fights the infection. In computer terms, to me, this would be like a virus in a computer’s operating system. Something that would make it vulnerable and interrupt the efficient […]

Postponed happiness

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

“I’ll be happy when I... get this project over/ get a new job/ clear my loan/ get to the weekend.” is like saying “I won’t be happy until...”. Who would you like to hang around with? Is it better to be with happy, relaxed stress-free people, or people with ‘postponed happiness’ who seem to be in a constant state of stress while they work towards a stress-free future? Happiness does not come from success. Success comes from happiness. Too many people take the past, project it into the future, and live in the present as if the future is fixed. What would the world be like if we could all […]

Circumstances do not cause stress, unhappiness or frustration.

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

Stressful, unhappy or frustrated thoughts cause stress, unhappiness or frustration. These feelings are labels we give to our conscious awareness of changes in the balance of our body chemistry (our endocrine system). We notice these feelings in our body; our stomach ‘turning over’; ‘butterflies’ in our stomach; tension in our shoulders or neck; or a ‘knot’ in our stomach. Our brain controls our body chemistry without us being consciously aware of making any adjustments – we only notice the change just after it has happened. Our unconscious mind is constantly making changes to our blood sugar, body temperature, hormones and heart rate. We do not do this consciously, it is […]

You don’t need to get confidence…

– Posted in: Business, Psychology, Success

... because you have it already. I am interested in the fact that we had no problem with self-belief when we were babies. We had the confidence to be self-expressed whenever we wanted (at the top of our lungs if we thought it was necessary). The difficulty many people experience is that their own thinking suppresses their inherent well-being. You can hold a beach ball underwater with a little effort but as soon as you let it go, it will pop straight up to the surface. Something happens when a person realises the amount of energy they are wasting suppressing their innate creativity with their own insecure thinking. When they […]

A plausible goal.

– Posted in: Business, Psychology, Success

My brother created this diagram (click on it for larger image) to help him make a decision and asked me where I would put base-jumping on the curve. This was my reply (long winded I know but I thought I should apply my process). I like the idea of base-jumping but I stop myself from doing it. In my experience, anything that might stop me from achieving a desirable outcome will fall into the following nine areas: 1. Information: - I don’t know anything about what is required to base-jump but I could find out. 2. Skill: - I have proved I can jump off things so I just need […]

Voice tonality and influence.

– Posted in: Business, Presentations, Success

While discussing the use of specific patterns of language, at a recent meeting I hosted about NLP, I suggested that, in order to emphasise a phrase or a specific word, a person could make it stand out from the rest of the sentence by using an ‘analogue mark’. This could be a gesture, the raise of an eyebrow or, as I recommended, a lowering of voice tonality and an increase in its resonance - by ‘talking from your diaphragm’. When someone asked why this would be effective, I explained that ‘bathing someone in resonance’ enables them to feel your words. This increases the impact of the words because they are […]

“I know” verses “What do you think?”

– Posted in: Business, Psychology, Success

Why are the words “I know” so limiting and the words “What do you think?” so powerful? I have just seen a Youtube video by Tom Peters, entitled “LEADERSHIP: 4 Most Important Words.” In the video, Tom says “...if you're really interested in engaging your workforce, you'll use four simple words – “What do you think?” While watching Tom’s video I remembered the exact opposite of Tom’s paradigm. It was a time when I told my father that I enjoyed listening to Alistair Cooke’s, BBC radio broadcasts, entitled ‘Letter from America’. My Dad was surprised. At the time, I had not realised that Alistair Cooke had been broadcasting since 1946! […]

From anger to enthusiasm

– Posted in: Psychology, Success

Someone recently asked about the Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique called 'Chaining Anchors'. I suggested that it is like having sign posts from one neuro-physiological state to an other. Anchoring is about associating a specific feeling, sight or sound with a specific emotional state. For instance, if someone laughs I might put my hand on their shoulder. After doing this a few times, each time they laugh, I can cause them to experience a feeling of mirth just by touching their shoulder. I use a clap of the hands as a trigger (to bring back) a feeling of motivation and enthusiasm. After creating anchors for curiosity, relaxation, happiness and energised motivation […]