Circumstances do not cause stress, unhappiness or frustration.

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

Stressful, unhappy or frustrated thoughts cause stress, unhappiness or frustration.

These feelings are labels we give to our conscious awareness of changes in the balance of our body chemistry (our endocrine system). We notice these feelings in our body; our stomach ‘turning over’; ‘butterflies’ in our stomach; tension in our shoulders or neck; or a ‘knot’ in our stomach.

Our brain controls our body chemistry without us being consciously aware of making any adjustments – we only notice the change just after it has happened. Our unconscious mind is constantly making changes to our blood sugar, body temperature, hormones and heart rate. We do not do this consciously, it is our unconscious ‘thought’ that automatically reacts to our interpretation of our environment and makes adjustments accordingly.

For instance, in the summer of 2000, I was in an audience where a presenter was encouraging people to “Go to the back of the room and sign up for our coaching programme.” I decided that I would not. Therefore, I just listed to their presentation and enjoyed their demonstrations. However, I became aware of a girl behind me who was crying. It transpired that she felt pressured into signing up and did not know how she was going to get out of the room without a confrontation. She became very anxious and frightened.

We were both in the same environment, and heard the same words, but we each had a very different experience. I was thinking, “This is really interesting” while she was thinking, “I am going to be bullied into something”.

Our conscious thoughts lead our unconscious thinking, which in turn affects our body chemistry. We then have conscious thought about what our feelings mean about our circumstances.

With a feedback loop like that, it is not surprising that our circumstances only get 20% of our attention.

Our thinking, not our circumstances, creates our reality. Reality is a creative experience.

If you feel anxious, and there is no immediate threat to your safety, then you know that your thinking is not congruent with your circumstances. Notice that is it ‘thought’, and that it is a self-created interpretation. It is not reality because you are the only person that can experience it.

Happiness and well-being are only one thought away.

If you would like to find out more about my approach to stress elimination, please join my FREE group at

Check out the posts in the Photos, Discussions (Message Board) and the resources – my diagrams and mind maps – in the Files, ‘More’ menu.

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