psychology

The eight attributes of success.

– Posted in: Business, Free Video, Marketing, Presentations, Success, Training

I have noticed that many people who are successful in life seem to be good at public speaking. This is no coincidence really, because the attributes of a good speaker are the same attributes needed for a successful business. The eight attributes of success. Numerous business owners have a useful skill – a valuable skill – that can help a lot of people. They are passionate about communicating the knowledge they have, and love what they do. However, they have a one major difficulty: Not enough potential customers. And to overcome this difficulty, some presentation skills are essential. Marketing yourself, and your ideas, is a key function in any business. […]

Circumstances do not cause stress, unhappiness or frustration.

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

Stressful, unhappy or frustrated thoughts cause stress, unhappiness or frustration. These feelings are labels we give to our conscious awareness of changes in the balance of our body chemistry (our endocrine system). We notice these feelings in our body; our stomach ‘turning over’; ‘butterflies’ in our stomach; tension in our shoulders or neck; or a ‘knot’ in our stomach. Our brain controls our body chemistry without us being consciously aware of making any adjustments – we only notice the change just after it has happened. Our unconscious mind is constantly making changes to our blood sugar, body temperature, hormones and heart rate. We do not do this consciously, it is […]

A reality paradigm and an understanding for insight (Part 3).

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

Insight. If we can slow our thoughts down, and let go of our unhelpful thoughts (and these are usually thoughts about thoughts about thoughts) we can create an amazing connection with the moment, with a person, or a group of people. By approaching a situation with nothing in mind, not thinking about the past or about the future and letting go of meaning we might have, we can have a much better experience of ‘the moment’ that when we are thinking too much. Sports men and women will say that they are in ‘the zone’; psychologists refer to a ‘state of flow’, a spiritualist ‘being at one with the universe’. […]

A reality paradigm and an understanding for insight. (Part 2)

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

Understanding. Someone once asked me what I mean by “the feelings you are getting are caused by your thinking”. I explained that when we experience a feeling it is our consciously awareness of feedback from our nervous system. This could be touching something with our fingers, feeling the heat of the sun on our face, or noticing a change in the balance of our endocrine system (body chemistry). For instance, ‘butterflies’ in our stomach, or our stomach ‘turning over’, as we notice a dangerous situation. The intensity of a feeling will vary according to where we focus our attention. We can notice the feeling of our clothes on our skin, […]

A reality paradigm and an understanding for insight (Part 1)

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

Paradigm I use the word “Paradigm” as a description of a perceptual point of view. For example, if a person were to draw the digit three (3) on a square piece of paper, put it on the floor and have four people stand around it, one on each side, each one of them would have a different experience. Each person would describe what he or she saw differently to the others three. Therefore, there would be four different descriptions for what they saw: 1. a ‘3’, 2. an ‘m’, 3. a ‘w’ 4. and a badly drawn “E”. Therefore, the definition I am using of a Paradigm is; a set […]

Options for Dealing with Rude Behaviour

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Training, Wellbeing

If someone behaves in a way that might be described as rude, obnoxious or aggressive, I ask myself “What must they be thinking, in this moment, to behave in this way or to think that this behaviour is their best option?” I have an understanding based on three principles. We create our reality from the life energy of our mind, our ability to create thought and our consciousness of these thoughts - along with the feedback we experience from our bodies due to the associated changes in our body chemistry. Our wellbeing is innate. The only thing that can get in the way of a feeling of wellbeing is giving […]

The Appreciation Effect

– Posted in: Psychology, Wellbeing

I just read a Facebook Comment, by Karen Daniels, in which she discussed the "appreciation effect". She describes how appreciation can turbo-charge the child's self esteem, confidence and performance at school. My first thought was that that appreciation often becomes a two way connection that can really deepen the quality of a relationship. In my experience to get to appreciate a person, I first have to accept them, and I cannot have that acceptance if I am being judgmental. For me judgement sometimes comes with an unpleasant, anxious, feeling. For instance, in the past if I were to hear what I considered to be ‘poor’ grammar it would trigger barely […]

“We’re always and only feeling our thinking.” – Dr Keith Blevens

– Posted in: Psychology, Wellbeing

Part of your brain, the limbic system, has the ability to create thoughts like hunger, thirst, fear and reproductive urges. These are the results of basic neuro physiological urges that create appropriate changes in the balance of your endocrine system (hormones, neuro-transmitters, endorphins, etc.). We share the ability to create ‘Thought’ with other mammalians, and even reptiles. The difference between ‘higher mammals’ and reptiles, is the ability to be consciously aware of the feelings of these chemical changes: Noticing the increased heart rate, for instance, or feeling the ‘stomach turn over’. I remember the actor Nicholas Lyndhurst, on a nature documentary, talking about the sense of humour displayed by the […]

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”- Albert Einstein

– Posted in: Psychology, Wellbeing

Recent advances in brain scan technology have shown that we get 80% more information back from our visual cortex than is received by our eyes. That means that 80% of our experience of reality comes from within our own brain. Someone once challenged me about this and I asked him to look around the restaurant we were in and asked him to describe what he saw, he chose to describe a wall. He described its height, colour, texture, the clay the brick from which the bricks were made and how the ‘rustic effect’ was not to his taste. He described HIS reality perfectly.....

A distinction between fear and anxiety

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

I have found it useful to make a distinction between fear and anxiety. I consider that an emotion is a conscious awareness of a change in my body chemistry. Our endocrine system (a number of hormone secreting glands) will change the balance of our ‘body chemistry’ according to our thoughts. We have a number of labels for feeling these changes; happiness, fear, love, anger, elation, sadness, joy, anxiety, etc. If there is something that I believe to be a threat to my physical wellbeing my body will produce adrenaline, cortisol, etc. This is sometimes called the ‘freeze, flight or fight system’ and is a perfect response to a physical threat. […]