psychology

Conflicting values and your quality of mind.

– Posted in: Psychology, Wellbeing

The better your quality of mind, the better your experience of life. When I first heard that statement it made sense to me. I make better decisions when I am not stressed so better thing happen to me when I have a ‘clear head’. Last week I noticed how a need we have from childhood can get in the way of happiness. All of us have things we value. For some being punctual is very important; for others politeness or table manners may be of great consequence. However, some things will be more important to us than others. Each of us has a ‘hierarchy of values’. For instance, it is […]

Happiness is just one thought away.

– Posted in: Psychology, Wellbeing

The great thing about 'Three Principles', or 'Inside-out' understanding of reality, is that there is nothing to learn and there are no techniques. It is the only thing I have ever experienced that can cause someone to transform their experience of life just by hearing about it. You don't have to do anything. The premise is quite simple: 1. You are alive; you have come some kind of life energy. You have a mind. 2. You have the power of thought; to think things. 3. You are conscious of your thoughts and of the chemical changed in your body that these thoughts create (labelled: fear, anxiety, happiness, arousal, etc). That […]

The Three Principles in Business

– Posted in: Business, Presentations

These are some very impressive statistics. The greater my understanding of the Three Principles the more I am amazed: 80% reduction in project durations. Strategies formed in one fifth of the time. Statistically significant increases in staff and executives wellbeing. Measurable increase in company’s profits. Source: Reflections the Sol (the Society for Organizational Learning) Journey, 2004, Vol 5, Number 9

My coaching approach….

– Posted in: Business

Here is an example of the structure I use to create options for my coaching session. First, you’ll have the opportunity to identify and discover how to attain the goals you have for yourself. Then, you’ll get rid of the obstacles in your path and find out how to steer clear of potential failures. I don’t push people into doing things they don’t want to or limit the choices in how to get results. This process has worked for millions, and you’ll have a chance to find out for yourself how powerful it really is. My approach is completely unique. But don’t worry you’ll recognise the similarities to what you […]

Inauthenticity

– Posted in: Business, Psychology

Because we have experienced our interpretations clashing with the interpretations of other people we hold part of ourselves back. We are therefore rarely truly honest about how we feel in the communication of our thoughts, approach and reactions to events. For example. An adult who was abused as a child may hold onto a feeling of pain every day and never tell anyone We find that if we act in a certain way we can create the results that we want from life (to be praised, to be left alone, to avoid confrontation, etc). Also, if we adopt a certain point of view, based on our model of “how things […]

Righteousness

– Posted in: Psychology

No one wants to be the runt of the litter; it gets picked on. The alpha male, or female, gets adulation - the runt gets bullied. We do not want to get attention for the wrong reasons. We therefore develop protective positions created by the values and beliefs that we share with our family, friends and colleagues. This is to stop ourselves from looking bad (or idiotic). From this position we can validate our model of the world, achieve the results we need, look ‘good’ and be ‘right’. Right according to our model of reality; which is the only one we know! One of Dale Carnegie observations was that everyone […]

14 to 21 years old

– Posted in: Psychology

The period between 14 and 21 is where we create our social values; as we realize that we are an individual alone in the world. We can do things the way our parents did, or in the opposite way - it is our choice. Sometimes we may even recognize that we are doing something in a specific way because of past upsets; just so we can prove that we were right all along!

8 to 13 years old

– Posted in: Psychology

Between the ages of 8 and 13 we model our parents and other people that we admire (like friends, cartoon characters, pop or film stars). We may want to be a hero but we will probably look at ourselves critically and decide that we do not really fit in with everyone else. On occasions it may seem that everybody else is happy, relaxed and comfortable with the world but we are left on the sideline. We don’t have the right look; we don’t know the right things. We are just different! So we must, somehow, be abnormal! However, as everybody feels like this sometimes then it must be normal to […]

Birth to 7 years old

– Posted in: Psychology

Up until about the age of 7 we soak up all the events that we see, hear, feel, smell or taste as we build our model of what the world (universe, life, whatever…) is like. This is our own personal representation of reality. Our most vivid memoirs will have been created by the most emotionally intense experiences. Often these memories will be caused by bad experiences; where we suddenly have to redefine our view of the world and make a decision about life. A decision that will remain with us for the rest of our days (or at least until we get a number of other experiences that make us […]

Beliefs

– Posted in: Psychology, Success, Wellbeing

Beliefs are a method for our brain to categorise our experiences. They are generalisations we get from a number of sources. • Our upbringing o As a child we believe what we were told by adults. A child has no way of testing some beliefs so they persist unmodified into adulthood. • Modelling other people • Past traumas • Repetitive experiences o Of the world o With other people • Culture (shared beliefs) Some beliefs are true like believing in gravity but others we just made up and are not true at all. They act as perceptual filters. We are Thinker/”Provers”. One part of us thinks (or believes) something and […]